Wednesday, July 20, 2011



Stay tuned.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Update 9/18/09

I'm back to writing for the first time in almost a year. Weird how September brings this out in me..I wonder if it's just my tolerance of the Vegas heat running thin as the summer goes on and on. Anyway..

My father's cancer is back, and he's going to start chemotherapy / radiation next week. I went with him and my mother to this class today that was basically just like chemo orientation.

We watched a video explaining what all to possibly expect, and how to maintain your health throughout the treatment. His biggest challenge in maintaining his health is probably going to be keeping up with a GREAT diet. He's supposed to have 6-8 smaller, but nutritious meals every day. He also has to drink 8-10 12oz glasses of water every day to stay hydrated and keep the chemo passing through his system, because it's not supposed to just sit stagnant (can't remember why). Moderate exercise is key as well. Today he had a custom lead chest plate made with a specially designed hole in it that will allow the radiation treatments to pass through at only the best angle - targeting the cancer directly while saving the rest of his body from being hit by the radiation.

I'm having a hard time dealing with this... He healed so quickly after his surgery, and had a great recovery...and now the cancer is back. I am a smoker, myself, and am going to be quitting very soon because 1) I can't afford it any more 2) I am seeing what someone goes through when they develop cancer from it. I know that I need to be strong and confident for him, but I've been finding it very difficult over the last week or so. I haven't been taking my prozac for about a month, and I could tell that my overall mood was starting to tank. I just refilled my prescription, and it's going to take a couple weeks for the serotonin to build back up in my brain.

I've been looking for a reason to go see a counselor, and what's going on with my dad definitely qualifies. I just won't be able to afford it when I get furloughed, which will probably be coming any day now. Nothing official has come out or anything, but all the people who are taking the retirement / buyout have to be gone by Oct 1-15 - so we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Nat, Angel & I were asked for Koichi photos by Konstanze for Fernandes guitars - so we all sent them our faves. Konstanze replied saying she wanted to show only Nat and Angel's photos to Fernandes. What a bummer! The pic of Koichi I submitted was actually in the top 3 of my faves (out of 567 pics). I'm really happy that Nat and Angel are getting exposure, I was just really proud of that pic. For Konstanze to not even show it to them was kind of weird...that's a great shot! She never sent Otsegoville-related e-mails to me anyway..

That's it for now, but it's nice to get this shit out. Maybe I'll write again soon.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

feelings of old

I had surgery on my neck done almost two months ago, and I've been back in physical therapy for the last few weeks. I'm going to same place that I was before the surgery. It's amazing how many beautiful girls work there! This place isn't what you think of when you're injured and hear the word "rehab", that's for sure. While there are a lot of beautiful girls there, only one has caught my eye. Her name is Monica.

Monica has always been very attentive to me when I go in for my sessions, and we talk a little bit when she's not busy helping anybody else. I went back to work just the last week for the first time in over 5 months, and have subsequently had to wear my work clothes in to physical therapy. The first time I wore my work clothes to PT, Monica greeted me and was having trouble saying what she wanted to say...she kept stumbling over her words and started blushing. Even the therapist commented on her sudden inability to communicate. Toward the end of this session, she asked me if I had another appointment later in the week. I told her that I had one on Friday, and that I looked forward to it. We said our goodbyes and that was that.

That night, I decided that I was going to ask her out. Then I had the problem of figuring out how to do it in a way which would be very effective, but would also minimize my embarrassment if I were to be rejected. Most guys are usually somewhat paranoid about the rejection factor. It's tough to be rejected and all, but to be rejected in a room full of people would be terrible!

Friday came, and I was all set to pop the question haha! As it turned out, I had one chance to do it and was about to do it...and she was called away to help someone else. =( I asked her what she was doing over the weekend, and she said that she was going out to play pool with all the girls that work there. In hindsight, I see that I should have asked if it'd be alright if I came along. If she said no, I could have asked about going out with her at a later date. It's hard to have a full minute of conversation with her in a place as busy as that! ARGH!

My next appointment is this Wednesday, and if the opportunity presents itself I am going to jump on it! I haven't felt this giddy in so long, the feelings seem almost alien to me! I can't wait to get comfortable with them again!!! And I can't wait to see where this is headed by 6:15 this Wednesday!! I am long overdue for this!